i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm terrified to sleep next to her. Of course the sex will be fuckng awesome.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
The bank teller laughed at me....I'm apparently that fucking hungover looking
All I wanted was my $85. Judgement free. But nooooo
this cock blocking thing really has to end bro...its one thing to tell jen i live with my mom.. its another to cut the brakes on my car..
She just had to change the song on the radio cause I was tap dancing on her windshield
I think I kinda scared him when I told him if he premature ejaculated I would punch him in the throat.
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
Okay but look at his jawline. I NEED TO RIDE IT.
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