Update from family reunion: my aunt Janet once got her legs stuck behind her head. The fire department had to be called.
WISH UPON A TAMPON
They constantly get farther than me.
tampons.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
Sorry for rubbing my feet on you and repeating "good pony, stay."
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
He said I looked like a ballsack and I tried to choke him out with my Ghostbusters pajama pants. Happy fucking Halloween.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
Just saw a rice crispy commercial and got emotional. I need to go home.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
He woke up to me masturbating during the presidential address. Now he won't stop making jokes.
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Randomize