walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm the only one who goes to a bar and leaves with an extra twenty bucks and a pumpkin.
I just took two shots of Burnerts out of a ladle. Get here now.
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
You stopped making out with some rando guy to tell him you weren't sure about your sexuality then proceeded to follow me down the street to make out with me
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Stop chatting and get in the fucking car. I didn't get my asexual ass out of bed just to watch you flirt and fail with someone you're never going to see again.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
Want ramen today?
I need a salad
SALAD DOESNT WARM YOUR HEART AND BELLY
We went to the midnight donut shop and you hopped the counter and told everyone to "Get the Fuck out of your Bar" but to also "Make yourselves at home".
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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