Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
They were scared I was going to get lost last night so they dressed me up as Waldo so someone would always find me.
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
You know you are 86'd from the legacy right? You can't down shots then spike the shot glass
She came 4 times, called me a god, then made me breakfast. I don't think she is ever going to leave
…wtf were in those pills mom gave me
I woke up missing my shoes and my left eyebrow. MY. EYEBROW.
Went home with a guy last night with Taco Bell sauce in my hair and on my pants
We had sex in Lake Michigan for an hour Sunday.
Thanks for ruining an entire lake for me. I hate you so much right now.
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