I have no morals, kinda like you have no standards
None
i guess you could say your face is two degrees of separation from my balls
Just made out with the bride... She was still in her dress & I was still in my bridesmaid dress, how's that for an album picture?!?
Apparently I climbed into a dryer last night and refused to leave... There are pictures to prove it
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I tried carrying you from the bathroom to your bed and you begged me to bring the toilet too
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Who gets call-your-ex-from-4-years-ago drunk on a Thursday??
Three of my exes and one of my exes' brothers have hit me up and it's only been a week. I hate semester break.
That female nurse who took a selfie with my man parts well I was out of it just got fired and arrested... You know all she had to do was ask lol
Booze, boobs, blunts and batman. dude, I'm livin' the life.
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