wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
I wish facebook had a fuck off button.
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
she found out just an hour ago that she might have cervical cancer. either way we're watching 50/50 and taking a shot of patron anytime anyone says cancer.
She has a boyfriend. But if he's a decent human being he understands blowjobs don't count as cheating with her. Keeping those miracles to himself is a crime against humanity.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
Just got drunk at the Cheesecake Factory again. Made me think of you.
That's the nicest thing anyone's ever said to me.
School supplies are right next to the margarita mix at target. Its a sign
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
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