she would be the type to have more hair on her twat than on her head
she has to be all "alternative"
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
James and whatshisface bought me drunks. I am drinks.
I dont know why the TSA people are looking at me wierd. I mean there is no way i am the only hungover college girl here with nine tally marks on her hand and last nights glitter on her face
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
That's what every 12 year old basketball team needs; a drunk and hungover lady eating KD whilst cheering them on. Highlight of their lives.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
My moms new boyfriend looks like Stu Pickles if he was in a biker gang. He gave me free coke though, so come party?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
Heard I spat fire in your face last night. Wish I could say that I'm sorry
House vote, we're revoking your 151 privileges
I'm sorry.
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Hey I need you to run the morning meeting, for reasons I can explain when I find out where I left my car
Randomize
