Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
how bad would it be if i made his twitter my home page?
yeah, it's no longer just 'day drinking' when it's 5pm and you're knocking over fruit displays at fresh market
If I send you a picture of the guy passed out in the bath tub, will u be able to identify him?
I'm hard boiling eggs, drinking rum, and talking to my 8 year old brother about the 10's times tables. This is what thursday is all about.
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
Tequila Tuesdays need to not carry on throughout the week. Having a sad Saturday
I got picked up after "I just threw up in my face". Then I had very specific instructions involving the bathtub.
My fall semester strategy is to submit my papers with a nude selfie
You've got post-grad studies written all over you
Is it a coincidence that the reminder on my phone to take my birth control is "I'm ready to party" from Bridesmaids?
Of course I fucked him. He's a professional beat boxer, his entire job is to do complicated shit with his tongue.
May the power of my ass compel you!!
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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