thx for the lesson on dirrty dancing
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
isnt it creepy that our bodies make people
it was like getting a handjob from mrs. butterworth
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
I think I just met the technical qualifications for binge drinking in five minutes
Having a pigeon watch you poop is just creepy. Drunk or not.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
he kept asking me if i had been in a pool or a lake recently, i didnt want to say i know where the swimmers ear came from. shower sex.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
This is why you have to watch more Zombie movies- to prepare for End Times...
I may have passed out and puked all over the host's favorite couch, but three hours and a rip later, I was eating tiramisu in the bathtub with the birthday boy and a hot Italian.
Randomize
