ed mcmahon, farrah fawcett, and michael jackson all in one week. What next god, are you juts gonna take my penis too?
Hows this for an invention: a toilet that weighs your poop
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
just put an icicle in the bong. best/worst idea ever. i think i can taste global warming right now.
I JUST REALIZED HOW SOFT YOUR TABLE IS! and I also just started rolling
2000 dollars has been put in for bail money. Also we're signing contracts
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I might be drinking a 4-day old opened beer on a Wednesday. You're in no position to judge me.
It would have only made it one day at my place.
Randomize
