real busy. everything is packed. thats why we ended up at the strip club
GOOD IDEA: Stealing the bike a couple blocks away so I don't have to walk. BAD IDEA: riding bike for the first time in years drunk as hell. I'm bleeding and my body hurts and once again I can't find my car.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
You'll be the guy with the raft that sells burritos on the river. You'd be legendary.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
I feel like every man should aspire to get a blowjob from a sword swallower.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
You KNOW it was a good night when you find French fries AND taco remnants in your bra when you get home...
stupid neighbors doing stupid yard work with their stupid kids when i want to do drugs in the backyard
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
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