hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
I wonder what it would be like to go to the dry cleaners and not have to inform them that all my clothes are stained with booze.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
Lesson learned. Whipped cream will eat through a condom.
apparently "preggers as fuck" isn't an appropriate way to describe someone...
Had to awkwardly dig through all my fake ID's to get my real one so I could vote.......Model citizen over here.
I just had to dig under a pile of condoms in my desk drawer to get to a blue book. Summer is officially over.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
stop sending me battleship coordinates and get back here so i can suck your dick
I mean with a sentence like that I knew I would be cumming
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
I 100% barfed while bumping the DMX remix of reading rainbow
Can you please bring the nipple sombrero up?
Randomize
