After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
it always starts out as a suggestion then three hours later I have cum in my eye.
I saw Winona at my church today. She has boobs, now.
Miracles do happen.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
The kind of drunk where you put two tampons in thinking that it'll last me longer ...
It's because of weed that I don't mind driving an hour to visit my family. And it's because of you that there's weed in my life. Thank you.
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
anyone can pick a bar fight and pick up a waitress at a bar, not everyone hangout with two wolves. TWO WOLVES.
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
