somehow, due in part to drug cocktail and alchl prior to meeting, i blacked out, got home, made total mess of kitchen, broke shower, and made 17 hard boiled eggs
I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
i dont remember who you are as you are in my phone as "mr. peanut."
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
We're starting "No Hesitation Fridays." The probability of this going horribly are between 100 to 125 percent
was just hit on by a homeless lesbian. forever alone.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
a pansexual with facepaint started fucking a tall black girl on the bed i was sitting on so im going to mcdonalds
High gym went like this: I went to Dairy Queen instead.
I was going down on her and she started whistling "Whistle while you work." I'm in love.
Named all the presidents in order between puke sessions while semi conscious so that's a thing I can do now
It's pretty self explanatory. You tried to have sex on the hood of a car in front of everyone
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
Randomize
