If you want to dance with a less than stellar Asian chick, I have just the girl for you.
Mars, I'm going to name my child horatio mars. He will hate me till he gets high. Then he'll understand
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i am devastated. she was DTF and I was about to puke, i told her to wait outside my room for a second. Puked. Passed out woke up, she was gone. Found puke stains on my keyboard that seem to spell out youporn....
"must pass the hog line" should not only be used in curling. but also when we go out to pick up girls.
the chick you hooked up with on my couch facebook friended me.
just thought you should know her name is kristen
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Told some guy to hold your weave while you "tried" to kick his girlfriends ass...
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
I'm going to ride your dick until it falls off. That horny.
I'm equal parts terrified and turned on. Come over.
The girl at the liquor store remembered me as "the girl who pays in hundreds" so she didn't ID me
I am so dumb. I made a mistake and let him get away.
Don't worry, there are other penises in the sea.
Thanks, mom.
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