she's in the bathroom throwing up right now...what is the hookup protocol after she is done? what all can I do with her?
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
You yelled "GET TO DA CHOPPA" and burst through her screen door and disappeared into the night. With the goose.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
My homemade mace ate through its aluminum container. I make awesome mace.
I am just glad I was home to catch most of it, cause it smells BAD.
I'm not a scientist but that could be because it's homemade mace. That is however just a hypothesis
The bald guy bought me a shot so I chugged it and then walked out to the middle of the dance floor and told an old woman that might be your moms twin to bend it over...We didn't end on a good note though. Dude she stepped on my vans.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Tinder date just called. I was supposed to be there 30 minutes ago but I'm on a 27 game win streak in Park...?
Fuck that man! Tell her your dog died or something. Reschedule that shit, you can't stop 2K at a time like that. Ball is life bro... Priorities.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
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