Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
we need to go to the store. i'm tired of having bud light for breakfast.
do you want me to pick up budweiser instead?
I don't remember her name, but I do remember yelling at her from the balcony of the hotel room during her walk of shame.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
They really brought out their best strippers for vday weekend
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
Where are you? I hear fireworks and you've gone missing. I'm sure that is not coincidence.
First memory of my senior year: Going into registration still drunk from last night.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
Apparently i tried to feed this guy's piranhas my whole left arm.. according to him, i was "showing them whos boss, bc if they try to eat my arm, im guna punch their face"
Randomize
