I'm gonna get wrecked tn I might have to keep my phone at home cause I'm sure ill send you really weird txts
? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
That shit is worth it...they got medicine for that now a days
People Are Arguing Over This Guy’s Petty Reaction To Splitting Lunch With His Co-Worker
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
I told my mom I had sex with him and even SHE was proud. Now that's saying something.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
Just invented taco cereal.
Girl Logs Into Twitter Only To Find Out Her Dad Is Trending For The Most Outrageous Reason
Grilled cheese and whiskey for lunch is why i should NEVER be a housewife.
I drank half a bottle of wine while watching the Olympics opening ceremonies. I catcalled at handsome athletes. Stop me.
I love my life sometimes. I do miss being an adult, from time to time, but a little vodka always changes my mind.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
I'm sorry I pissed in your bedroom and then woke you up when I tried to jump off the balcony
Why am I sleeping on top of the fridge?
You were playing hide and seek with the dog. she couldn't find you and you passed out.