Remind me to tell you about the dream where im a fighting a super hero whose only weakness is sunkist.
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
Pretty sure I left lotion and my bra in your car. I've secured your fathers belief that your straight. You can thank me later
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No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
I poured myself a glass of chocolate chips at some point during the evening.
if any part of your body has ever entered my vagina you are fucking obligated to speak to me if i so desire
Ok. Here's the plan. Take your hand (whichever is closest), summon all your nerve, and just stick it right down his pants.
I love you.
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
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She was doing hand motions and used straws from drinks like those airport light batons to have me back my "747 jumbo dick" towards you.
You kicked me our in the middle of a blizzard with a dead phone. I had to give my watch to a pizza delivery person to take me home. You owe me a gyro too.
Jesus Christ. Even your cock has to be an overachiever. :-(
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Stoned. Scared. Bring pool noodle and onion rings.
Yeah I don't think your wife thinks it's a good thing that you're fucking your cousin.