There is a girl in bio drinking beer out of a starbucks cup with a straw
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
I tried to take a photo for proof but couldn't hold my penis, camera, and measuring tape all at the same time.
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
At one point I thought we were going to have to fuck our way out of their apartment
Her only article of clothing is an American Flag
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I went to the obgyn with chipped nail polish.. Somewhere Beyonce was looking down, shaking her head, whispering "Not fierce."
Curdled. you forgot that word. It was a curdled buttery nipple shot.
Yeah, we agreed, but I feel like I need at least one more ride on the bonecoaster
Someone needs to fuck me in my slutty pumpkin costume and I would ideally like it to be you
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
Randomize
