you dont want to live with me, im always naked, a chronic masturbator, a bit of a voyeur and will likely touch you while you sleep. ps- i can pick locks
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
guess where i woke up this morning? If you guessed the hospital, you sir are correct.
I feel like every car around me knows I'm driving in my snuggie
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
I just sat in the bathtub with the shower running so I could eat the whole box of mega stuffed Oreos. What am I doing with my life
the worst fight me and my gf ever had was over Guy fieri
"I played a game called "how drunk can you get in a minute" last night. How was your Thursday?"
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
Randomize
