I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
Attempting to teach the cat how to shake. I need a job.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
If you end up at a gay bar on a tuesday night in steelers pjs, does that mean youve hit rock bottom?
It's surprise blowjob week. You should be excited.
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I walked by the two of them and mouthed "fuck me" based on there reaction I think they just came in their pants
You was so high that you insisted that you heard someone whistle, then you insisted they was trapped in the wall!
We inadvertently arrived at the strip club on Bear Night. The dancers all look like young Santa Claus and there's a buffet....
Getting food poisoning after eating at work was the cherry on top of my "Welcome back to real life" sundae.
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
He spilled some of his beer on your shoulder then proceeded to lick it off. By the face you made, I don't know if you were completely horrified or really turned on.
Randomize
