I just saw a neon sign in a bar window that says, "open to Public" but the L is burnt out.
so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
Dylan just paid 30 bucks to have himself wrapped in the clear plastic they wrap luggage in at the airport. Bring scissors.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am about to embark upon a south Boston wedding....
Hydrate.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
My day in three words: secret purse cake
Oddly enough I feel totally fine now. Clonazapam and red bull the breakfast of champions.
you missed 2am bagpipes and my roommate looking hot as fuck in a kilt
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like Captain Morgan shit all over my hopes and dreams last night...
I'm 10 cats away from completing my post divorce transformation.
i need some fresh meat. meat that has a license and a job and isn’t a FULL-blown alcoholic. partial i could tolerate, bc, haha, let’s be honest, me likey my drinkies.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
Can we climb Your roof?
No bitch its 2am go home.
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
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