would you consider him our boss?
technically yes
then technically i slept with our boss
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
I lost my phone so I put sticky notes all over my roommates body asking her to wake me up at 7:00 AM.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
you licked my face then when I finally got you to the bathroom, mid puke you said you liked the taste of my foundation.....you weren't drunk at all....
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
Oh god establish a safe word
I'm going to! Pineapple.
My vagina is very pro this idea
You tryed convincing the salvation army bell ringer you could do the worm and face planted into the sidewalk... I put a dollar in the can for your performance
Randomize
