How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
all of his pictures were taken on a library computer, how did you even consider fucking him?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Hahhaha I literally just rolled outta bed and went to get beer in my pj's and slippers. God I love graduating
At what point lastnight did a lens fall out of my glasses and nobody tell me?
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
The uberlube is also flammable
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Why do I have a wristband from the birthing center at the University of Maryland hospital....
Answered a bio test question bc of watching phineas and ferb. Remind me to always drink when studying.
As in, legitimately worried. You just sent me a 6 message long text that did not contain any complete words.
Randomize
