You were face down, at your computer, surrounded by beer bottles listening a bagpipes version of amazing grace.
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
who paints a picture of their own dick and sends it to people. i dont know if its borderline crazy or just fucking genius...
I ended up with a bullet proof vest and I still don't know his last name.
You were carrying around a milk crate, randomly putting it down calling out 'praise be to the milk gods' and making people pray to it.
Time flies when you're blacked out in a lake
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
my mom just told me I should hit it and quit apparently she does not like this new girl
Dude, get out of Andrea's vagina and call me back
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
So technically I made out with my second cousin this weekend... But it's by marriage and I'm adopted, so it's ok.
He's making me do the dishes for the next month and half because I shit in the bath tub...
He woke up and decided to go for a swim in the lake... At about 3am... With his dogs
Randomize
