I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Oral text is very safe with the right protection.
i'm sorry if your life is a sore subject
I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
im pretty sure your bra is in my room hanging on my shark pinata
got my wristband ripped off, was told i can only be served water. please find me, i'll be running through the fountain
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I feel like David Hasselhoff when he's drunk eating that cheeseburger and crying. But with cheesecake.
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I was sitting down, taking a piss with a boner, her cat walked into the bathroom and walked up to my legs, I sneezed and pissed all over her cat through between the toilet seat and bowl, it ran off screeching. She thought I peed on her cat on purpose. Kicked me out
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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