just saw someone whip out a flask during lecture... I think I found a study partner
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
hes like my own personal sex toy i use him on the weekends and then i have the option to put him away all week
And then I learned that we are dating when I said it's out of line to bring fuck buddies home to meet the parents. And then I was single.
You know when the three of us hug it out in the alcohol isle in walmart it's gonna be fun.
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
we couldn't find any funnels so we taped a spaghetti strainer to a pool noodle and it worked fairly well
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Well, maybe we can talk about it over a drink and some crushed up vicodin.
Nothing like snapchatring dick pics to a\nMarried woman while your girlfriend destroys Taco Bell in the next room. Almost caught, worth it. Got boobs back
The three yr old girl I nanny grabbed a pole just now and is chanting "this is my house"
Sounds like you at that dive bar last weekend
Like I just asked Greg why I don't have a crown for my vagina. That drunk.
If it makes you feel any better they literally are drinking alcohol out of a toilet. They are serving drinks out of a nasty ass toilet...!
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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