dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
so she finally agreed to being friends with benefits. not only did I take her virginity, when I woke up, she brought me French toast made with homemade bread in bed.
I worship thee.
She just sat there, all alone, with a bottle of booze. And the dog. He even looked like he didn't wanna be there with her.
Just puked up hair, tacos and vodka. Hello Memorial Day weekend.
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Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
We thought she was passed out on the toilet, but she raised her head to tell me the word I couldn't remember was "empathize." Then she puked blood and passed out.
New drunken fun fact of last night, after I pushed Sarah and before I started making out with guy #1, I shouted that I'd go to third base on a first date, then threw myself at him
Apparently being drunk on a southwest flight and yelling "TURNUP" during take off is looked down upon in this state.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
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You're telling me he never had to ask for a blow job and he STILL broke up with you? I call bullshit on that one.
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
We met up and made out in front of an empanada spot, if that's not romance then idk what is.
Its like Gods punishment for wanting to party
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