You and i never got to the, we dont care what we look like friend-stage. you know? like not brushing your teeth stage.
sorry im really high
Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
FYI you just passed out mid-blow job. Consider this my letter of resignation.
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
New wedding record, my shirt was off by 8pm!!!
we left when one of the guys tried to stick himself with an IV that he found
My life is sponsored by tidy cat kitty litter, Bacardi rum, and plan b.
How do you initiate sexting are u supposed to be like yo I'm peeing and eating a clif bar and texting and thinking about you naked all at the same time
I got frustrated so I just stood up and said take me to bed or lose me forever and banged the first guy who responded show me the way home. Thank you Top Gun.
She showed up ready for sex all night.. with waters and a meat and cheese tray
Should I put the money for my dealer in a Christmas card? You know, make it more frstive?
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
There's a guy masturbating in front of Sephora right now
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Randomize
