Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
just threw up on dog. broke microwave with cheese and spoon. having a bath with my barbies singing final countdown.
before you ask yes i found the absinthe under your bed. ITS THE FINAL COUNTDOWWWWNNNNNN
The grocery store is a combo of ghetto ppl complaining that the low fat chips are all that's left and hipsters trying to eat organic during the hurricane
Sneezing blood is a good thing right? Medically speaking.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
i want to have his babies. i NEED to. shit i wont even ask for child support, he's that goodlooking.
What would you do if your asshole suddenly made the sound of a sheep duck baa/quacking the words kill me
You are so incredibly one of a kind, it's astounding
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
There aren't enough words in the English language to fully describe how worried I am for your dick. And the rest of you, I suppose.
I was so close to going to get my nipples pierced with my mom today
Randomize
