am i the only one who has tried sucking their own cock????
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Hey Operation Dumbo Drop... FYI, when you select your date this evening, our doorway is 3'x7'
I love how all these freshman girls think that they can wear what they wore last summer... freshman 15 at its skankiest
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
My mom just told me my dad shaves his pubes while drunk and I don't know how to feel anymore.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
Sorry, I was watching the Olympic story about the Canadian guy and drinking out of the prescription bottle and crying because it was so beautiful.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.
It took me longer to jump start my car and get to his house than the fucking actually took.....
Its really awkward pooping while on videochat. Even if you turn the video off.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
