i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
He was pretty wasted I guess, but the crippled guy threw the first punch it was awesome
I Know I'm the drunk girl in the trunk right now, BUT PLEASE LISTEN TO ME!
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
You're just horny.
Yea, and? I appreciate you as a person too if that helps.
Wednesday is my day of reflection and making my dick and balls into shapes. So i'll be pretty busy.
I woke up with $140 in twenties in my bra and have never been more puzzled.
She had sex with a starfish painted on her face. Thank you Halloween
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
I might need to come puke in your toliet on the way home
in mid sex he pointed out my great gatsby tattoo and we started discussing themes and metaphors from our fave fitzgerald novels
you need to stop fucking English majors
Randomize
