i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I'm pretty sure if an eight year old calls you a whore.. it's true. just saying.
arguing about whether his trip to england or my trip on acid was better
We're trying to leave but amy's hitting on the guy who mans the nacho cart
The less money I spend on drugs, the happier my mom will be.
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
The hardest part about being a child of divorce is when you're at your dad's house but your condoms are at your mom's house.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
YAY! I just removed my own stitches, and I'm only bleeding from one spot! on a related note, do you think a dishwasher will sterilize forceps and trauma shears?
I realized it was late, and he was my brother in humanity and another incarnation of my own life force and consciousness, so I regained control of myself, thanked him for helping me, and went home.
That's the second time the same cop pulled me over well a different girl was giving me road head
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
