that's just what I need...drunk ass people throwin hatchets in the dark.
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
she had no gag reflex. and is an abercrombie model. i love college.
Sharon took in a random bleeding stranger drunker than her, named her Nicole, and is feeding her jello shots on the toilet
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
There's a transgender game of twister in the basement...God doesnt want me to type this paper.
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I'm laying in my house looking at chocolate pudding drip from the ceiling onto my partially erect penis... Yay for shrooms!
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
I may or may not have been feeling patriotic and banged Captain America in a closet. SPOILER ALERT: We broke his shield
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
I miss painting strippers for Christmas. Holidays not the same without glitter and body paint
I'll be your substitute stripper tonight.
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