He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
i should have probably stopped drinking when my beer pong shots were hitting the other team in the face..
yeah thats usually a good indication.
Yea.. I remember nothing. Except that the taxi driver was 56 years old and apparently never cheated on his wife.
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
i'm currently connecting with my tribal roots aka i just found my recorder from 3rd grade music class... be ready for the recording
It's like if a cloud had tits and you laid on them.
After the 3rd shot, she was running around singing, "Twinkle Twinkle Big Ol' Dick, on your happy place I'll sit" to your brother.
Put that bitch's torch out. She's been voted off.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
Did I penguin dive down a hill last night?
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