let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Tried to buy Xanax from my boss last night. Wrong Mike.
tequila makes her clothes fall off
wow Mom, sounds like youre having a good time
I have "you made mistakes last night" written alllll over me.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
I just need to repress my desire to share my impressive chugging abilities with the world and I won't black out so much
My landlord showed my apartment to a prospective tenant today and I had my vibrator and gun both chilling on my nightstand
Pulled over to puke on the way to sign closing papers on the house...Good sign of responsibility.
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
WELL THEN WHAT DAY IS IT?!?! This whole having to choose between ruining my future and ruining my liver is totally killing my vibe
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I mean, it's a romantic picture of pubes if I've ever seen one
The first thing you did was give us a tour of the house and showed us who was "on-limits" and "off-limits"
Randomize
