I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
i luv seein jocks study. its like watching monkeys masturbate.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
third eye blind makes so much more sense now that i have a drug problem
No way. Our relationship is based solely on texting and sex. A phone call would be too much at this point.
Court can wait. right now you and your magic penis need to be here satisfying me.
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
according to the video, you won you first drunken karaoke contest based off of your actual singing abilities and not because you took your shirt! I've never been prouder :)
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
That amount of times your family has seen my boobs is getting ridiculous.
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
I'm tired of you and your emotional constipation. WHY DO YOU CLOSE YOUR EYES WHEN WE MAKE LOVE!?
I’ve been home 1 day and already had sex with my ex and got a blowie from her cousin and currently I’m getting molested by a cougar at the bar!!!! Plenty to give thanks for this year!!!!
Randomize
