I am at The Loft in SoNo, and there are two girls within arms reach that are making out with each other AGGRESIVELY. Like I can see 100% of a boob
For future reference, this is Trevors little sisters phone now. Trevs number is 484 XXX XXXX. Great story tho
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Oh I know babe. You're shining beacon of adult responsibility. That's why I go down on you.
I go down on you because abs
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
All I wanted was a couple of orgasms before work, is that too much to ask?!
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I'm at forever 21 and someone pooped in the dressing room.
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
My vagina! What have you done to it?
Blessed it my child.
Randomize
