You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
I wish there was a lawn mower version of Roomba so I could just drink and cheer it on from the stoop.
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
He went down on me in his escalade and his dick is bigger than my forearm. I'm never going back to white guys.
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
There is a mosh pit in our kitchen. You better hurry.
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
What made you think singing Silent Night while I was puking was a good idea?!?!
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
He's got that kind of dick that just MAKES me cheat on my boyfriend. It deserves a trophy. Really you should give it ride sometime.
Excuse me I just made a hot pocket without burning down the house, I think i can do anything.
I brought my porn computer to class by accident
How much porn do you watch if you need a special computer?
I just sent a Slack that autocorrected tomorrow to gonorrhoea. Please note that Slack autocorrect isn’t very good.
Randomize
