He quoted an N'sync song to confess his attraction to me. Needless to say, I had sex with him.
Women are like Alzheimers patiens. You can compliment them a million times in a day, but the next day is always a wash, you have to start all over.
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
i rewarded my self with tacobell for not throwing up on any one. MISTAKE
They refer to his house as "the abortion clinic". Cant wait.
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
I need to start giving them away because owning 20 dildos is never going to get me a boyfriend.
you inspire me to be a worse person
If I EVER think it's a good idea to blow someone who just showed me their synchronized swimming performance on youtube again please correct me immediately.
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Peeing off the roof of a motel lighting a cigar with matches and speaking fluent spanish with a chilen exchange student...how do iget into these situations?
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
Randomize
