Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
she just made a shot glass out of magazine paper. I love her.
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
He is making me drink his THC water out of a milk jug.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Do you remember me making bird noises at the bartender with some guy at the bar last night?
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
When I come home and take my bra off and I'm served with a perfect grilled cheese along with a glass of wine. Priceless.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
