weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
It's one of those mornings where you wake up and want to go to church for the first time in ten years. THAT shameful.
Not that you went to little darlings at 3am. But that you checked in on Facebook. C'mon bro. You're better than that.
I was thinking about getting her an edible arrangement for an engagement gift. You want in?
I'm buying her a drink and not telling her to dump his ass. that's my gift.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
arnt you supposed to become a mature adult when you move out of your parents house?
Moving out doesnt mean I'm mature, it means I can make pancakes and bacon at 3 in the morning and no one can judge me.
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I've learned life lessons in Vegas. Mostly, drugs are cheaper than alcohol.
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Getting knocked up by someone with a good job and a big dick, okay. I can handle that. Getting knocked up by someone who sells dildos for a living and has a tiny dick, SOMEBODY is losing a pair of balls.
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