The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
Do what your heart wants. . .
My heart wants to rip his balls off and tie therm to his head using his penis
I tried to interpretive dance to Candy Shop to stop the awkwardness.
Absinthe night with my dad again, I could get used to this being home thing.
We just taught the Brazilian how to smoke out of a vuvuzela.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
Ran out of plates, so I'm using my sociology notes. Looks like they will finally have a practical use.
i fucking swear, saying shit like "i dont get jealous" is like personally inviting your slutty friend to fuck the guy you slept with like a month ago
my human sexuality class is the only class where the porn i watch the night before is relevant to the discussion the next day
I just started the bonfire using a tampon. Who knew they could have multiple uses?
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
The guy got mobbed on, all hell broke loose. About 20 cops showed up, and this kid somehow convinced a cop that letting him pee in front of him is justifiable. This guy could sweet talk Hellen Keller, he was THAT good
Just used the word fistfucking in a serious conversation with my professor in front of the class, while making an appropriate and valid point. Win.
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