I wonder how skeet ulrich feels about the skeet skeet phrase and and what it denotes.
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
it's to the point where working 2 jobs this summer will absolutely not cover how much i will spend on alcohol next semester.
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Having a race with the dryer. Seeing who can get drunk/dry clothes faster.
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
I don't deserve a penis
Just tapped my penis on the head and said "this will be your year buddy."
Did I really drink that whole bottle of Jack Daniels last night?
Heroically.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
So Saturday night after 10 drinks I guess he tried to have sex with me and in the middle of it I asked "can you tell I'm faking it!?" and then I sat up and threw up in my hand. That's a sex Win in my books
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