Strip flip cup NEVER equals good idea
in spanish class. the girl next to me asked what Galapagos were. i told her they were islands. now she thinks Galapagos means islands in spanish
Dude you have to stop using "I eat good pussy" as a pick up line
I woke up wearing nothing but 7 partially eaten candy necklaces. Only one was around my neck. Don't even try to tell me I don't need plan B.
It can't be good... The last recollection I have is singing lullabys to his penis
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Jared is "trying to bite a strangers hat off" drunk. Oh, and that stranger is a girl at a table of 5 guys, one girl.
You want to get day drunk this afternoon and watch these guys build a house across the street?
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Let's just face it you're going to have an arrangement with your future wife your fuck me on Thursdays
I woke up while she was taking a panoramic photo of my morning wood
Randomize
