But, the reference to being horny and then blending a banana is troubling
Our house smells like week old pizza, beer cans, cigarettes, and depressing career tracks....get lysol.
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
The Masters... another excuse to excessivly start drinking by 1
the party was called freshmen disorientation. i was just following the theme
When I start carrying a bottle in my hand, jumping from boat to boat with a grenade horn. YOU should know this isn't going to turn out well.
Everyone already knows you're a drunk, they understand.
Sundays should be dedicated to Girl Scout cookies, sex, and super hero movies.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
its the first football sunday and my boyfriend isn't excited. this isn't gonna last unless he makes me snacks and brings me beer during the game.
My drug dealer was just on ESPN..
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
I'd rather explain to the cops why I'm naked than why I'm drunk.
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
He made me come so hard I punched another hole in the wall mid orgasm.
I'm not fixing this one for you. Do it your own damn self.
Randomize
