dude you just took shreks wife home. what the fuck is wrong with you
when a bears hungry he eats besides shes got her nipples pierced
we should go somewhere reaaaaaal shady
I JUST WANT TO WATCH PORN BUT THE CAT IS JUST SITTING HERE LICKING HIS BALLS. I CAN'T DO IT.
He asked if I wanted a dutch rudder. 1.) Who says that? 2.) How exactly does one do that with a girl?
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
I hooked up with some guy to get over my ex last night. I was terrified until we started doing naked pushups.
Just got a nosebleed, my period and the runs all at the same time. I'm either dying, or this is the first sign of the apocalypse. You warning you in case it's the latter.
He paid the bartender with money from the tip jar then proceeded to hit on me in front of my date. I love frat dances
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
Eating power bars and masterbating... That's kinda my life right now. Is this what having a boyfriend means?
Do u ever find yourself high af, watching American ninja warrior and crying at the athletes stories?
Randomize
