Almost ran you over in the parking lot. You look good
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
Doubtful. That seems irresponsible. The 4th will kill you if you stopped drinking until then. Let's think logically.
I have yet found the courage to put pants on. No judgement thursday led to no shower friday and now no pants saturday. God i miss college.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
Turns out the average person our age has never run from the cops. Life: we're doing it right.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
There are grandparents doing keg stands I don't know
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Any luck with the purse?
No, though I did find her weed. Also her sons name is King. I'm uncertain how I feel about that
Randomize
