Take xtc, wait 20 minutes and then take a shower. Trust me.
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
Dude you can sell sperm for 100 to 250 bucks a time. And the best part is there will be kids all over the world that will have me as a daddy. It's like I'm jerking off my way into ruling the world
May or may not have found my way onto a stripper bus. To Chicago.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
dude, i turned on the light and asked if they were ok and they STILL didn't stop. Most determined sex EVER.
I wish you'd make everyone's lives easier and do him already. Then we can get rid of him.
Cleaning my pipe and using the left over resin solution to make THC laced rolling papers and a jar of hash oil/honey for my tea
WE USE THE WHOLE BUFFALO
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
So, I had a dream last night that involved you as an actual cloaked Captain America and a lot of weird sex, and I didn't hate it.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
