what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
Hold on. She's wrapped herself in toilet paper and is scaring the dog.
Too many margaritas?
Well you just missed the ten chi o pledges singing la bamba at our doorstep.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Went to a date party without a date and had a threesome wooops
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
I don't think I've ever been sadder than the way I feel when I finish my meal while I'm high
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
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