I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
I just want you to sit on my face and to tell you you're pretty. Most girls would leap at this opportunity.
You can't just leave with hair like that
no he just sat there holding the hammer and grinning insanely
i woke up inside a girl that i promised i would take on a date to Chili's
No he can't come. I swear to gods he's "Why We Can't Have Nice Things" given physical form.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
But can mardi gras accurately capture the essence of my tiny rage?
We could never date. He doesn't drink and he won't bring me tacos after sex. He's on that healthy life bullshit.
Plus you get to call him out on being a dick. It's more satisfying than ever sex I've ever had.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
I don't know how much expertise I could offer. My best advice is, "don't drown, for god's sake don't drown"
Perfect. I'll put on my party clothes and write emergency numbers on my arm
Gov of Georgia is going to allow massage therapists to return to work.
Gives a new meaning to 'Happy Endings'.
Randomize
