There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I came so hard just now that I think I may have regenerated.
I've started day drinking because fuck everyone else
The inflatable penis from those pics was mine... We broke him that night
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I'm by myself. some Midwest chick is hitting on me because I gave her a deviled egg. I need the distraction.
Shia LaBeouf arrested in austin for public intoxication. JUST DO IT
When i said you could use my car and have sex in the back....i wasn't being serious.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
If there's one thing I think I could really excel it, it's curating a midlife crisis
He punched me in the face while giving him road head, because he was driving stick. I shit you not.
Randomize
