Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
Either way you look at it, I'm a slut. But either way I look at it, I'm having a fucking blast.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
90 persent of me said don't pee on that fake plant. Buyt i did
Just so you know there's a random man downstairs knocking on a door with a dozen roses and a 30 pack of beer. Unattractive or not, I'm inviting him in.
I just woke up entirely naked on top of a pile of some guy's laundry on his bedroom floor.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
Randomize
