Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
I just tried to unlock my house with the car remote
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
My itunes is telling me i listened to toxic by b spears 108 times last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I have located the smell of the stripper and narrowed it down to 3 girls in class
No, she passed out instead. I have the worst luck, its like Jesus is mad at me for having the same birthday as him
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We had sex in the bathroom. Good sex. Toilet breaking sex.
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Chicks before dicks must only mean American dicks
Lindsey Lohan and I have slept with the same amount of people. The only thing she's now beating me on is rehab trips and teen choice awards, so really I'm the winner.
I just want him to hold me after a bad midterm. Is that even too much to ask for after sleeping with him twice?
He'd never survive you. Is there a boot camp for pre-heather training?
Randomize