My entire life is one complicated drinking game
craigslist faux pas number 857, just got head in a disability bus.
So I'll spare the details, but I think I discovered I'm lactose intolerant. In my sleep. And you'll be needing new sheets.
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
As you were leaving the bar you grabbed a table and when they stopped you, you said "Its cool i came in with this". They did not believe you.
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
You used the best tools you had at your disposal.
Slutty, slutty tools.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
Dunno yet. Probably just gonna play the s.t.d. russian roulette game with random bartenders at the beach again. Same 'ol same 'ol
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
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