I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
I may or may not have slept in someones apt on your street because they told me I was fun sized like a mini snickers
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
In my defense it was my birthday and I really wanted to do it.
lit a joint with my parents wedding matches today, this is what happens when you're out of lighter fluid. didnt even feel guilty.
Wtf just happened. Thought you were in my bed since 3am, turned out I was sharing it w/a drunk girl from the 6th floor lounge...
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
Does being an adult mean drunkenly signing for your tax return from a foreign country? If so, I've reached adulthood.
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
hurry there's a jack Daniels slip n slide and clothes are coming off faster than I can even comprehend oh thank god for autocorrect
dude if looks could fuck you two would've been naked in front of everybody
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
