jackpot. dress really slutty so he knows you mean business
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
woke up this morning with a fat chick but she went downstairs and made pancakes without saying a word.
when "blow-job jen" drunk dials you at 3 in the morning, you answer
Omg. I bid $3000 on a cave in Afghanistan on EBay last night.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
I think the pizza guy was in shock..
Well I didn't mean to answer the door only in socks but I mean come on, 4 hours of sex works up an appetite! I WAS RAVENOUS
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